A Better Life That Never Was (By A)

Title: A Better Life That Never Was

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Jess, and Mary

Warnings: Same as the show

Summary: Sam gets taken by a Djinn and finds himself with that he dreamed of. 

 Sam and Dean were on a case in Portland Oregon. They had been on the tail of a Djinn for about 3 days, and so far they had not been able to fine where it was taking its victims. They had been checking the likeliest places that it would choose. That night they were looking in an abandoned warehouse that had once been used for packing apples.            

            “Hey why don’t you go look in the sheds out back, I’ll go in to the main building and get a head start. Come meet me when you’re done.” Sam suggested

            “ I don’t know Sammy…”

            “Dean I’ll be fine. We can cover more ground faster this way.” Said Sam slightly annoyed.

            “Alright, fine.” Said Dean walking away

            Sam went into the warehouse and began to look around. He started in the main room where the workers would have packed the apples. It was completely deserted. It didn’t seem like anyone had set foot in the warehouse for years. There was a thick layer of dust on all of the surfaces in the room. Sam was beginning to think that they had hit another dead end. He decided to go and check out the manager’s office just to be thorough. He entered the office, and that was when everything went black.

            Sam woke up in a next to a very familiar blond figure. His heart skipped a beat. He became overwhelmed as all sorts of emotions flooded him at once. His head was a mixture of disbelief, relief, confusion, topped with pure and utter bliss. She was even more beautiful than he remembered.

            “Jess”  he murmured.  

            Sam then remembered everything from that night. The hunt. He knew then that the Djinn must have gotten him. For that moment at least he could care less. Jess was alive.

            “Hey you.” Said Jess, sitting up in bed

            “Hey babe” Said Sam pulling in for a kiss.

            The kiss was perfect. It was just like the kisses that they used to share. None of their chemistry had been lost.

            “God I’ve missed you.” Sam said almost at a whisper

            “Missed me? I haven’t gone anywhere you knucklehead. Are you feeling ok this morning?”

            “Me? Yeah! I’m great. I swear.” Sam assured her

            “Ok..Well hey, do me a favor and go wake up Mary. She needs to get ready for school.”

            “Ssure” Sam stammered. “Okay Sam  be cool, you have a daughter. That’s great. You always wanted kids.” Sam thought to himself.

            He peeked his head into her room. Mary was a beautiful child. She looked like a perfect mix of her parents. She had dirty blonde hair, Sam’s hazel eyes and her mom’s nose. She was six years old.  Sam’s eyes welled up a little seeing her. He saw this life that could have, should have been his. God did he want it. His heart ached for it. At that moment he realized how much strength it had taken Dean to come out of it when a Djinn took him. Sam didn’t know if he possessed the strength or the desire to leave this life behind.      

            He shook Mary gently on the shoulder. “Wake up sweetie. Time to get ready for school”

            Mary stirred, rubbed her eyes, and sat up. “Hi Daddy” she said. She climbed out of bed and enveloped Sam in one of the warmest hugs he had ever received.  She was tiny and barely taller than his waist. The little girl had already melted his heart. 

            “Mary Eleanor Winchester , come  eat breakfast. You can’t be late for school.” Jess called.  

         Mary Eleanor, Sam smiled at that. He had chosen two very special women as namesakes for his daughter. Jess was amazing for letting him pick the name of their daughter.        

            “Come on Daddy.” Mary said grabbling him by the had leading him towards the kitchen.

            “Ok guys, hurry up and eat. We gotta go in 30 minutes.” Said Jess

            Sam realized then how hungry he was.

            “You’re amazing.” Said Sam kissing Jess on the cheek as he grabbed a plate “What would I do without you.”

            “Crash and burn. I’ve been saying it for years.” Said Jess smacking Sam playfully on the butt.

            “Hey Jess? This is going to sound weird, I know, but where do I work?”  asked Sam

            “You work at a law firm Sam…Are you sure you are ok? You aren’t acting yourself this morning.” Said Jess ,worry etched on her face.

            “Sorry babe. I guess I just had a really vivid dream last night and it’s kind of rattled me. Don’t worry though I’ll be fine.” Said Sam kissing Jess on the top of the head.

            “Alright. You better be. Well anyways we all have to scoot. Mary! Grab your backpack the bus is outside. Don’t forget your lunch!”  said Jess “Sam! You too! You gotta be at work in 20 minutes. Get going! Oh and I’m making your favorite for dinner tonight. Don’t be late handsome.”

            “I won’t. I love you Jess.”

            “Alright, I love you too. Now go!”

            Sam turned the GPS in his cell phone on and plugged in his work address to find his way to work. When he had reached the office, Sam found Dean’s number in his contact list and called him up. He found out that Dean also lived in Portland and he did body work on cars. It made sense because he was always so good at prettying up the Implala again after she got banged up. They decided to meet up for lunch.

            Sam was the first to arrive at the restaurant. Apparently his work was closer than Dean’s. He was sitting for about five minutes when Dean walked through the door. He looked great. He looked great. The permanent dark circles etched under his eyes from sleep deprivation were gone, and it was obvious that he didn’t drink nearly as much..

            “Hey Dean.”  Said Sam as he gave Dean a hug.

            “Hey”  Dean replied sitting down at the table

            “So, I have had a weird day and I have a few questions for you .”

            “Alright shoot” said Dean

            “ Do you remember dad taking us hunting when we were kids?”Sam asked

            “Sam, Dad never hunted a day in his life. Neither did we. Are you feeling ok?” Dean replied

            “Yeah I’m fine. I just had a weird dream last night and I wanted to see if any of it was true I guess. I was also wondering, are you happy Dean?” said Sam

            “Yeah. I’m really happy. Ben and Lisa are the best thing that ever happened to me.” Said Dean

            “You’re with Lisa and Ben? That’s great Dean!” Said Sam, a smile growing on his face

            “Yeah I’m with Lisa and Ben. Sam, are you sure you’re ok? You’re acting really weird.”

            “Sorry Dean I guess I’m just having a really weird day. Try to picture waking up out of the blue with the life you always hoped for, when before..in your dream, your life was nothing like it. In fact you thought it was completely out of your reach.. Dean, in my….dream,  Jess was dead and you were not with Lisa and Ben. I didn’t have a daughter either.” Sam explained

            “Ok, that would be weird. Just be glad it was only a dream huh Sammy. Hey do you want to see a picture of Lisa, Ben, and I?” asked Dean

            “I would love that.” Sam said earnestly

            Dean passed Sam the picture. It was the best photo Sam had ever seen of Dean. His brother looked so happy with the family he had made for himself. Sam yearned for all of this to be real. It seemed like the longer he lived this life, the more it broke his heart.

            That night as he was trying to sleep Sam wrestled with what to do about his situation. He wanted nothing more that to keep living this life with Jess and Mary, and with a happier brother than he had ever known. He knew, however, that it would be selfish of him to stay here. If Sam stayed in this life, than he would die in the real world. The Djinn would kill him eventually. He knew that would destroy his brother. He could not do that to Dean. He could not just give up. If he did that it would be like murdering Dean and he would not do that. He hated it, but he knew what he had to do. Dean had told him how he got back to the real world when a Djinn had him. If he was about to die in this world, he would wake up in the real world.

            Sam turned in bed to face Jess. He gave her one final kiss on the forehead.

            “I will always love you.” He murmured.

            With that he got out of bed and walked into Mary’s room.

            “You are the best thing to come out of my life. I wish I could have had you.  I love you, and will never forget you.” He kissed her gently on the cheek.

            With that Sam went into the kitchen. and pulled out a butcher knife.

            “I have to do this.” Sam said forcing resolve into himself. As tears streaked down his cheeks Sam drove the knife into his stomach.

            “SAM! Come on Damnit! Look at me Sam!” commanded Dean

            Sam obeyed as best he could, feeling groggy as if he was coming out of heavy anesthesia.

            “Sammy, you alright?”Asked Dean pulling the I.V out of Sam. “Hey you have tears in your eyes.”

            “No Dean, Im not really alright. I had everything I ever wanted. I was married to Jess, we had a beautiful daughter, I was even a lawyer. And you, you were with Lisa and Ben,. We were both so fucking happy. I almost didn’t come back to this dump.”

            “Well I’m sorry you had to come back to this shithole little brother, but I gotta say, it is good to have you back.  Come on, let’s get you out of here.”